WARNING: strong language using the F WORD and talk about ejaculation. If you do not like such things please do not watch. Also if you really dislike Ray Bradbury you probably want to skip this.

Rachel Bloom, I just want you to know: you are awesome.
Sincerely,
Joe Hawtness

Do you know what you need to stick between your nethers? Nothing less than old-timey craftsmanship run on steam and ghost-rock! The vigorous rogering this ray gun gives is strong enough for the most “modern” of ladies!

Source: Lady Clankington’s Cabinet of Carnal Curiosities!

Via:The Daily Wh.at

Axel Braun announced that pre-production has begun on the pornographic parody of Star Wars. I know I’m not alone when I yelled, “HELL YES!”
He also wins Quote of the Day: “Yes, Chewbacca WILL fuck!”
Just roll that image around in your mind…oh yeah.

To Axel Braun, if you are reading this make sure you at least offer the role of Leia to Adrianne Curry:

Via: Geekscape

There are so many male-enhancement products out there: from books of stretches to surgery. Now for you lazy bastards there is a gum.
No I haven’t tried this, but that would make a pretty interesting podcast. What concerns me are the claims from the site itself, “makes women willing and men ready.”
Specifically the “makes women willing?” Does that phrase, for a gum that the man is supposed to be chewing, worry anyone else? Maybe I’m wrong, but just because some dude at a bus stop is sporting wood doesn’t mean the ladies will swoon. Is some chemical passed to the woman when they kiss? Perhaps that is why they were always chewing gum and making out in Wet Hot American Summer.

Submitted by: ekahnicole via Submit Page

A Nazi U-boat is just out of the frame.

Belly: Crazy chicks are the best in bed. They do some WILD stuff and will leave you twitching on the floor from it being so good. She’s a scientologist, so she MUST be crazy, therefore she’s probably AWESOME in bed.

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

The artist of this is really trying to sell me on how much she is enjoying this whole scaly orgy.

PseudoSavior: Fun fact: Komodo dragons have two penises.

Submitted by: MurderG via Submission Page

Does anyone own this watch? Does it work? When you walk up to a lady and say, do you know what time it is, does she look at you with bedroom eyes and smile as you hold out your watch. Notice I assume you have to ask, because never has an attractive lady (or anyone for that matter) asked me what time it is. I do smell though; perhaps that’s why.
-Joe Hawtness

Goober: MY UNCLE HAD THIS VERY SELF-SAME WATCH!!! When I was about six, I found it in one of his desk drawers while I was at my grandparent’s house. I was positively AGHAST! And amazed! And amused! Adults really thought this stuff was funny? Wow. The world suddenly became much more complex for me.
He also owned a ’72 Corvette, so that made him extra cool. The first time I ever went a hundred miles per hour was in that car.

The world is a strange and mysterious place.

Submitted by: Gleef via Submit Page

Think she’s got porn open behind the atlas, or does she just think the Mediterranean coastline is super hot?

Gene: I know, right? It’s like, how am I supposed to maintain the fiction of my heterosexuality when people aren’t strongly gendered enough?
I DON’T KNOW IF THIS MAKES ME GAY!!!
*sob*

The dangers of the internet.